Really more like 6 or 7, back to
back. Scumbag brain was definitely
wearing his douchey backwards hat last night.
Let’s recap them in order:
1. Parker got hit by a car and was lying lifeless in the
street. Dark blue Prius (yes, my dreams are that specific), it took off. I think even MMFN knew that was
too much for me, cause he wasn't killed, but had broken legs. I was
screaming because I had just been telling some actor (think Lex Luthor from
Smallville, no I don’t know why) about my daughter and then Parker runs away
from me and this happens. This one had
me wide awake at 4 am, unable to go back to sleep until 6ish.
2. My husband kept coming back to the house after taking Parker to school this morning. Or I thought it was him - I kept hearing keys being put on the table in the foyer, and people talking. So I get up (still in the dream), thinking it’s him coming down the hallway, but when the guy gets there it’s some stranger. Some guy in a suit and tie. Another guy joins him in our room and they corner me, smiling but menacing. One of them says something like "I'm John from ACSS." Wake up.
3. I get up again, hearing people talking. It's Matt and he brought Parker back to the house - he's behind the glass door on the stairs, but I'm naked and embarrassed. Wake up.
4. I get up to use the bathroom. The floor in our room & bathroom is soaking wet, and the toilet has been replaced by one of those huge blue rubber barrels. Overflowing and gross. Matt comes back to the house & is pissed off at me because of it. We fight. I poke my finger in his chest and he laughs at me. I tell him I'm pregnant again but we're getting a divorce. Wake up.
5. Matt comes back to the house with a friend to play video games. He says "we're all staying home today, Parker too." And Parker is a head taller than me and wearing a backwards baseball hat like a d-bag. Matt and some other faceless guy are playing games and won't fix the bathroom (that's still broken, carryover dream) so I have to sh*t in the living room sitting on a chair (I really, really hate my brain). At this point I'm trying to confirm if it’s a dream or not, and my brain is telling me it’s real cause I can tell you what color underwear I had on (teal, long tag that said size 9). Wake up.
6. The bathroom is being fixed now, but they've (I'm assuming the landlords) replaced the shower with a tub, new toilet, and painted the bathroom & our room yellow & white. I come out of the bathroom and a girl I work with and a girl I used to work with are there, asking why I didn't call in today. One is wearing purple and pink eyeshadow and fake eyelashes. I try to check the time on my phone (which is my old BlackBerry) but it's going completely screwy. 5:20, 1:20, 3 am, etc. I told her I was just about to call and they stare at me. "Am I being let go?" She shakes her head yes. Wake up.
Other than the first one, these all occurred between, like 6:00 and 6:50 am. I frequently have dreams that involve me waking up and carrying on with the next days activities – they trick me into thinking I’m up and moving so when I actually do wake up, I’m late. It's like MMFN is realizing he can't get to me as easy during the day, so he's attacking me at night. I'm exhausted. I’ve always had vivid dreams, but this can't be normal. After going through such a trauma, I think – no, I know - I’m permanently damaged.
2. My husband kept coming back to the house after taking Parker to school this morning. Or I thought it was him - I kept hearing keys being put on the table in the foyer, and people talking. So I get up (still in the dream), thinking it’s him coming down the hallway, but when the guy gets there it’s some stranger. Some guy in a suit and tie. Another guy joins him in our room and they corner me, smiling but menacing. One of them says something like "I'm John from ACSS." Wake up.
3. I get up again, hearing people talking. It's Matt and he brought Parker back to the house - he's behind the glass door on the stairs, but I'm naked and embarrassed. Wake up.
4. I get up to use the bathroom. The floor in our room & bathroom is soaking wet, and the toilet has been replaced by one of those huge blue rubber barrels. Overflowing and gross. Matt comes back to the house & is pissed off at me because of it. We fight. I poke my finger in his chest and he laughs at me. I tell him I'm pregnant again but we're getting a divorce. Wake up.
5. Matt comes back to the house with a friend to play video games. He says "we're all staying home today, Parker too." And Parker is a head taller than me and wearing a backwards baseball hat like a d-bag. Matt and some other faceless guy are playing games and won't fix the bathroom (that's still broken, carryover dream) so I have to sh*t in the living room sitting on a chair (I really, really hate my brain). At this point I'm trying to confirm if it’s a dream or not, and my brain is telling me it’s real cause I can tell you what color underwear I had on (teal, long tag that said size 9). Wake up.
6. The bathroom is being fixed now, but they've (I'm assuming the landlords) replaced the shower with a tub, new toilet, and painted the bathroom & our room yellow & white. I come out of the bathroom and a girl I work with and a girl I used to work with are there, asking why I didn't call in today. One is wearing purple and pink eyeshadow and fake eyelashes. I try to check the time on my phone (which is my old BlackBerry) but it's going completely screwy. 5:20, 1:20, 3 am, etc. I told her I was just about to call and they stare at me. "Am I being let go?" She shakes her head yes. Wake up.
Other than the first one, these all occurred between, like 6:00 and 6:50 am. I frequently have dreams that involve me waking up and carrying on with the next days activities – they trick me into thinking I’m up and moving so when I actually do wake up, I’m late. It's like MMFN is realizing he can't get to me as easy during the day, so he's attacking me at night. I'm exhausted. I’ve always had vivid dreams, but this can't be normal. After going through such a trauma, I think – no, I know - I’m permanently damaged.
They're not hard to evaluate - fear of something happening to Parker, fear of my husband not being the person he actually is, fear of someone unknown entering our house (which has happened). I just wish I could shut it off - there's a continual stream of obscure consciousness that runs through my head at night, and I just want to be able to shut it off and sleep sometimes.
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