Why I'm proud of my A.A.

After 13 years, I have my first college degree.  It’s my Associate of Arts, but I’m seriously very happy to have it.  Some of you might scoff at that seemingly pitiful achievement, but here’s some of the obstacles I encountered, and why it’s important and meaningful to me:

• I switched schools three times over the past 13 years, and switched majors more times than I care to remember.
• I had my son, got married and separated all in a year.
• During this time, my father resurfaced, only to vanish again.  Meh.
• I went through a two-year long divorce and custody mediation.
• I worked full time during this entire span, often more than one job.
• I moved back into my mother’s home 3 different times.
• Despite probably needing it, I never applied for or used government assistance.
• I’ve raised my son for 10 years of this.
• I found my best friend and married him – he encouraged me to go back to school.
• Coraline was stillborn at full term in November.  Despite this, I took my finals two weeks later and passed both classes with an A.

I had cars break down on the side of the road.  I had long drawn-out fights with boyfriends and family.   I had sleepless nights with a sick toddler after hours of research after a full work day.  I had people threatening to kick me out of my own house.  I watched friends and family pass away.  My house was robbed.  I had people pointing at me as I walked across campus with my large belly (the first time around).  I took tests on my lunch hour, studied after work and weekends.  I worked and studied when I was sick, depressed, and otherwise unmotivated. I continued when I was sneered at for my choice of major, school, lifestyle.

I am technically a college graduate.  I'm still working towards my Bachelor's, but I've got something which is better than nothing.  I earned this.  It took forever, but I earned it despite everything that got thrown in my way along the path.  And I didn't earn it alone - my husband supported and encouraged me through all of it.

I'm still going, because I need to be better than I was - I need to live a fulfilled life, the life my daughter was denied, in an eternal attempt to make up for it, even though I never can. 

I'm still going, baby girl.  I'm still moving forward, and I'm bringing you with me as much as possible.  You are my motivation to do what I do.  You were perfect, and I need to strive for that in everything.