What I learned in 2012

Recap of what I've learned this year:

I learned that certain strains of upper respiratory infections have become resistant to most anti-biotics, and require a much stronger one plus a steroid to fully kick out of your system.  After three major ENT infections and bronchitis.

Shortly after being sick, I learned that thieves aren't always the sneaking-around-at-night type, but rather the kick-in-your-front-door-in-broad-daylight kind.  I learned that renter's insurance was the best decision we ever made, and theft is covered to the tune of a $4K check less than a week later.  I also learned the value of a good alarm system - but I still don't sleep soundly at night.

I learned that sometimes, people go off the deep end for no reason.

I learned to trust my first impression of people, specifically douchebags.  They're always douchebags.

I learned (well, confirmed) several people I work with are juvenile, backstabbing bitches with no redeeming qualities or compassion.

I learned that most large corporations are heartless, soul-sucking bastards, willing to mortar their walls with their loyal employees while robbing/raping them.

And most importantly, I learned that despite all my best efforts - despite sleepless nights and coccyx pillows, despite chugging TUMS for indigestion and propping myself up on towels at night, despite no alcohol, tobacco, caffeine, shellfish, soft cheeses or medication - everything can still crumble.  Everything can be taken from you in an instant, despite doing "everything" right.  I learned the most difficult lesson regarding the fragility of life, and not to take a single day for granted.

I learned I could love something so deeply that it ripped out a part of me when it was gone.  I learned my husband is the strongest person I know, and I would be nothing without him.  I learned my son has a tremendous capacity for compassion and care. I learned our little girl was loved so much by so many who never met her.

I learned that life goes on, the world keeps turning, regardless of the challenges I face.  The sun comes up, the clouds roll through, and the cycle continues.  This year has left so much destruction, so much despair and loss, so much pain... I don't want to leave her behind in it.  I can't leave her behind, so now I must learn to carry her forward with me.  The one thing I need to learn next year is to have hope.

I love you, Coraline.  You are forever in my heart, and I will keep you there always.