PHCC

“I mean now it’s just soooo simple – you go in for a c-section and you’re done!”

 “I know! Pregnant women have it sooo easy these days!”

*sigh*  People having careless conversations.  PHCC.  I think it needs to be new medical terminology.  “Why’d she go all guano-psychosis on them?” “It was a tragic result of PHCC.”

Another reason I would really prefer working from home – so I wouldn’t be exposed to this nonsense for 9 hours per day.  The women who constantly mention how “pwecious” their “gwandchiwldwen” are.  That’s not a name from a Tolkien novel, that’s ridiculous 50+year-old women baby talk for their children’s offspring.  Then the women who bring their children into a business they no longer work at.  Cause its fun to try and talk on the phone over a screaming infant.  

Look, I understand I cannot avoid every conversation or mention of children, pregnancy, babies, etc.  Especially in public - I realize the world keeps spinning even though mine has come to a standstill and I'm being dragged through it, face down, across a combination of hot asphalt, shattered glass slivers and an ass-puckering lemon juice finish. But when you work in a close setting with someone who has experienced a tragic loss, where Til Tuesday’s words ring oh so true (keep it down now, voices carry), you’d hope your coworkers would think twice before opening their Cheetos-stained gaping face holes.  Nothing against Cheetos, really, they're delicious - but in my opinion, an adult leaving greasy, crusty orange-colored crumbs all over their keyboard and phone is just as bad as that toddler running around Walmart in a saggy diaper and permanent Kool-Aid moustache.  Klassy with a Kapital 'K'.  I'm off topic... and hungry.

Then there's the ones who blatantly stare at me like I’m going to jinx them into having a similar experience.   I really want to jump out at them, yell “ooga booga!” wearing an African tribal mask and blow baby powder in their eyes.  I don’t practice Santeria, but…  “Officer, she couldn’t help it – it was the PHCC.”  “Case dismissed.”